


Life As We Knew It

by some_mad_lunge



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Adorable baby, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Robron Week 2019, Romantic Comedy AU, kinda cute, original character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 13:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18335117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_mad_lunge/pseuds/some_mad_lunge
Summary: After a disastrous first date, the only things Robert and Aaron have in common are mutual dislike and their love for their godson, Arthur. When tragedy strikes they are thrown together, suddenly raising the boy, working as a team and facing feelings they’d rather ignore.Life As We Know It AU





	Life As We Knew It

Aaron hates kids parties. They’re loud, they’re obnoxious and way too fucking early in the day. This one might just kill him. Thankfully God was smiling down on him as Connor handed Aaron a couple of paracetamol and a big glass of water.

“Mate, you are a lifesaver.” Aaron meant it, he always did. Connor just patted his shoulder as he side-stepped over the precarious pile of presents on the floor and headed back to the kitchen. Aaron downed the pills and the water, letting his head fall back against the cushions of the couch.

God, why did Connor and Isaac have to buy a flat with so many windows? Aaron debated shoving a pillow over his face when a shadow fell over him. He looked up to see Robert bathed in sunlight, like some bloody angel about to give him last rights. Maybe he’d died and gone to hell after all.

“Another wild night with boys was it, Dingle?” Robert sounded smug, probably because he was, the stupid prat. Aaron groaned when Robert flopped on the couch beside him, legs spread wide to make his presence known. Like Aaron could ever forget he was around.

Aaron loved Connor, was the brother he’d never had. His gay guru when Aaron had shown up at his first club at 17, scared out of his mind. Connor, with his easy smile, just slung an arm around his shoulder and the rest was history. Ten years and he’d do anything for the bloke, including being here now.

When Connor had met Isaac over four years ago and fell into blissful domesticity Aaron had been all for it. When the loved up couple decided to set up their best friends on a blind date Aaron did it to appease them. What could be the harm?

Four years later and Aaron was still regretting that decision and a whole lot more where Robert Sugden was concerned.

“Look, mate, I get you’re against fun and all that but it’s part of my job you know.” Robert always made him feel defensive, like Aaron wasn’t posh enough to breathe the same air as the fancy barrister. Aaron ran his family’s pub; drinking on occasion happened, especially on footie nights.

“I thought you were supposed to serve the drinks, not consume them.” Robert didn’t even look at Aaron when he said it, taking in the colourful balloons around the room and the trio of babies sitting on the floor screeching. The other parents were standing around, sipping wine, swapping war stories with Connor. Aaron had been happy to slowly die in peace on the sofa until Robert had joined him.

“Can’t I enjoy my godson’s first birthday without you breathing down my neck?” Robert didn’t have any say over how Aaron lived his life, but he saw Connor eyeing them from across the room. Aaron knew that look, it screamed: “play nice with the other kids.” So he would, for now.

“You mean our godson’s birthday.” Robert smiled at him then, the rare genuine kind that made Aaron forget that behind that gorgeous face was a dick of epic proportions. 

They glanced across the room at the same time, looking for the little cherub that had stolen both their hearts. Arthur was just pure joy and love, plump cheeks, big brown eyes, and an infectious giggle. Aaron couldn’t imagine loving a human more. He lived for Sunday afternoons when he took the little rascal to the park to feed the ducks, got him up to some trouble on the swings, let his dads have a bit of a break. Then they’d stop at the cafe on the way home, grab a coffee and some treats. The four of them would then sit around the flat, enjoy the rest of the afternoon, one happy little family. With no Robert in sight.

Aaron took his godfather duties seriously. Connor and Isaac had always been there for him, he’d never let them down. Besides, the kid was a riot, and he loved his Uncle Aaron.

Isaac took that moment to exit the kitchen, blue decorated cake in hand with a single candle blazing. Aaron joined in the singing, saw Robert recording it on his phone beside him. 

Of course, Sugden had perfect musical pitch. The arsehole.

***********

A few nights later Aaron was behind the bar, a relatively slow evening so far but that was to be expected for a Tuesday. He was pleasantly surprised when his favourite married couple walked through the door hand in hand.

“Mates! What brings you in? Isn’t it past your bedtime?” He twisted a pint glass into a pretty circle before pulling Isaac’s favourite brand.

“Shut it, Dingle. Robert offered to look after Arthur for the night so we could have a quiet drink in peace.” Connor leaned against the bar, smile firmly in place.

“God knows why we decided to come here.” Isaac shot Aaron a wink as he leaned into his husband, arms wrapping around Connor’s shoulders.

It was moments like this that he envied his friends, actually, it was more like raging jealousy if he was entirely honest. They were two good men, madly in love and fucking happy. Yeah, they were successful, Isaac a barrister like Robert, Connor a graphic artist, but money didn’t matter. The way they looked at each other, the way they looked at their son, that was beauty. None that Aaron had ever found for himself. Well, there had been one moment a few years ago when Aaron m thought he had, but it must have been a trick of the light or something in the end. Best to forget about it.

“You left Arthur with Robert? God, I am going to have a world of bad habits to rectify on Sunday.” Aaron had never made a secret of his disdain for Robert, just like Robert had no problem looking down his nose when in Aaron’s vicinity.

“You two just need to sleep together and get it over with.” Connor barked out a laugh at Isaac’s words as the glass Aaron was holding almost slipped from his fingers.

“You what?” Aaron could feel the heat in his face, no doubt his cheeks burning red.

“Oh come on, Aaron. All that sarcasm and sparks between you two, it’s foreplay if I ever saw it. I can’t imagine what could have happened on that date to make you hate each other so much.” Oh no, Connor had asked many times over the years what had gone down in the short span of a coffee date that had started a new Cold War. Aaron refused to relive that moment in history and he wasn’t about to share it now.

“Enough of that. These pints are on the house if you go over to that booth and promise to never mention that man’s name in my fine establishment again.” Aaron made sure the set of his chin showed he wasn’t about to back down.

Thankfully Isaac wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, grabbing his pint and his husband’s hand to pull him away. No doubt the vivid memory of Aaron and Robert’s near bout of a punch up at their wedding reception fresh in his mind.

Things picked up after that, Aaron getting Matty to mind the bar while he cleaned tables and changed a barrel. Connor stopped him before they left. The three of them stood together and laughed over something Arthur had done the day before. Aaron accepted their warm hugs and waved them on their way as they headed back home to their perfect life.

The last memory of his friends Aaron would ever have.

**********

It was a call from Connor’s home number when he was locking up for the night that surprised him. Aaron teased him about having a landline, who even did anymore? Old people, that’s who.

He should have realized it was wrong. He should have known.

“Mate, if you’re calling to tell me what a great shag your husband is I’m not really in the mood.” He was walking to his car, twirling his key around his finger when a choked sob made his heart construct, the smile to drop instantly from his face.

“Connor? Isaac? What’s happened?”

“Aaron, they’re gone.” It was muffled and heart-wrenching. It was Robert.

“Robert, what are you talking about?” A bleak feeling was rapidly growing in the pit of his stomach, a shiver ran up his back.

“Isaac and Connor, there was an accident and the police are here. They’re gone, Aaron. Fuck, they’re…”

“I’m coming Robert, I’m coming.”

He’d never driven so fast, his mind blank, a survival mode he didn’t know he had until he needed it. He didn’t remember the less than 10 minutes it took to get there. He didn’t remember punching at the elevator wall as it ascended to the right floor. He didn’t see anything until he pushed open the flat door, Robert sitting on the sofa, two uniform officers standing there with solemn looks on their faces. 

Years flashed before his eyes. Memories of drunken nights, tears and laughter, so much laughter. The way Connor and Isaac had danced at their wedding, the ache of joy Aaron had felt in his chest, and the happiness that filled the room. Just as it had hours ago as the couple held hands and laughed about their son. 

Arthur.

No, this can’t be real.

_Connor, what the hell am I going to do without you?_

It was Robert’s arms that wrapped around him as he dropped to the floor and fell apart.

**********

Robert woke up nestled into warmth, his neck ached and a soft snore he didn’t recognize filled his ears. He shifted slightly, a smile creeping on his face when he realized it was Aaron beside him, mouth slightly open, still in his wrinkled white shirt, feet up on the coffee table.

Until it hit him like it always did now. Where he was, what had happened. It ached, the stabbing pain of loss dulled slightly over the last week, his eyes in a constant state of red-rimmed puffiness.

Today had been the service, a small affair of just close friends, the only family there was Aaron’s mum Chas and Robert’s sister Victoria. Isaac’s parents had died years ago and Connor’s family had disowned him when he’d come out to them at 16. Still the love in the room today had been something to behold, little Arthur happy to be passed around, the boy not understanding the magnitude to which his life had forever changed.

Robert slowly eased himself off Aaron, reaching for the baby monitor on the coffee table. Arthur was curled up on his side, the tiny stuffed duck Aaron had got him for his birthday shoved under his arm. Robert just stared at the little screen, his entire life’s purpose now filled his view.

They’d come together, Aaron and him, joined forever by their shared loss and heartbreak. Days of looking after Arthur, crying when they let themselves think about it, trying to find a way to work this out without having a real conversation. They couldn’t put it off much longer. Robert only had another week he could take off work and who knew what Aaron was doing with his own business at this point.

He rubbed at his eyes, remembered Aaron’s resolute face when Robert confirmed that yes, he’d done the will himself, it was set in stone. Isaac and Connor had left everything to Arthur, and they’d left Arthur to Robert and Aaron. It was an honour when they’d been asked a year ago but had either of them realized that it had been an actual possibility? To lose both men, at the same time?

“We can’t let them down, Robert. We won’t.” Aaron’s voice was gruff as he wiped at his tears with the sleeve of his jumper. Robert agreed, but that was sentiment, that was good intentions. The real question was how did two men that usually couldn’t stand the sight of each other spend the rest of their lives forever intertwined?

Not that Robert had hated Aaron on first glance. No, when he’d walked into that coffee shop all those years ago his stomach had done flips. He’d been mesmerized by those bright blue eyes, had seen his future in them. That is until Aaron had shown his true colours. Robert knew it was his own fault for having a flight of fancy, a moment of romantic idiocy. He’d learned his lesson.

Robert looked Aaron’s way, he was still attractive, of course he was. Robert hadn’t ever had trouble getting a date but Aaron was probably beating them off with a stick. Or welcoming them with open arms.

They’d promised to talk that evening after everyone had left and they’d put Arthur down for the night. Until they’d both finally sat down on the sofa, still for the first time in what like felt like an eternity, and promptly passed out. 

Robert debated shaking the git awake. Thankfully Aaron decided to join him in their new reality and opened his eyes slowly. For a second Robert saw something soft in the clear blue, then it was gone, blank stare firmly in place.

“He okay?” Aaron’s gaze fixed on the monitor in Robert’s hand, their main concern now always at the forefront of their minds. Arthur, he was what mattered.

“Yeah, out like a light.” Robert placed the monitor down and leaned back, noted the drops of coffee marking the front of his shirt. The aftereffects of trying to get some much-needed caffeine while juggling Arthur in his arms.

“Robert, we can do this can’t we?” Aaron’s voice was quiet, questioning. 

“We’re gonna have to try.” Robert turned to Aaron, resisted the bizarre urge to curl back into that warm body, seek the reassurance they both needed.

“Dingle, if we're gonna make this work we need to...you and me…”

“We let go of the past, yeah? Start fresh. For Arthur.” Aaron was right, of course he was. Ego had no place in their lives, not anymore.

“Agreed.” Robert offered his hand to seal the deal, surprised at the sparks that flew up his arm when they touched. Aaron had strong fingers, and his stomach clenched at the gentle squeeze.

Aaron let go and stood, stretched his limbs, gave Robert a delicious view of skin at his lower back before he sighed and headed to the kitchen. “I’ll start the kettle and then we hash this out.”

**********

Robert would like to say in the end it had been easy, and logistically it was. The three bed flat was paid for, Isaac using his inheritance to purchase it outright. Aaron would give up his rental and take the guest room, Robert would lease out his own flat and take the master.

They would look into daycare options for Arthur but Aaron had staff that could manage the days at the pub so he insisted on handling that for now. Robert would have night duty, he could easily work on his caseload at the dinner table after Arthur was down for the night.

They’d agreed to share the expenses, though they’d been given a monthly allowance to care for Arthur out of the money left in his name. They decided jointly to put that aside for emergencies. They wanted Arthur to have everything his fathers had left him for his own future.

They’d spent a few hard days packing up things, donating furniture, trying to make the flat their home. The only thing they didn’t dare touch was the few photos that hung on the walls, with one exception. Aaron moved the photo of Isaac and Connor on their wedding day into Arthur’s room. The boy said goodnight to it before bed, waving at the men who’d loved him more than life itself.

Yet the two of them, Aaron and Robert, were like ships passing in the night. Robert would see him briefly in the mornings, downing coffee and giving Arthur a kiss before grabbing his briefcase and racing out the door. He’d come home to a bit of chaos, Arthur playing on the floor or eating his tea before Aaron was gone, his own work to get to.

Robert was usually in bed, not asleep, when he heard Aaron enter after his shift. He was always so quiet, Robert wouldn’t even be aware if he wasn’t listening so hard. He couldn’t rest until he heard the shower running down the hall, a sound that calmed the panic, the neverending fear of losing someone else an anvil over his head. 

Robert had Arthur on Saturday’s while Aaron did God knows what and Sunday’s Robert usually spent in his office trying to catch up on his ever-growing pile of work.

A month in they were doing okay. They communicated via text. Robert got photos of Arthur at the park feeding the ducks, a request to pick up milk or nappies on the way home. Robert let Aaron know if there was mail for him or tea in the fridge if he was hungry when he got in.

It was really two separate lives connected by a home and a happy, smiling boy that was adjusting better than Robert could have possibly imagined.

Until on a Friday Aaron texted to say his bartender had called in sick and he had to cover the afternoon. Would Robert be willing to pick up Arthur on his way back home?

Robert knew where Aaron’s pub was, the Woolie, though he’d never been inside. After their disastrous first date he’d avoided Aaron as much as possible. It was bound to happen eventually given their circumstances, and he was pretty curious to see it. Always had been.

The Woolie was actually not too far from the flat, Robert could walk there if the weather was nice. He loosened his tie as he pushed open the doors, thoughts on what to make Arthur for tea and the brief he needed to type out later that night. He stopped dead when he took in the scene before him.

Aaron was behind the bar, pouring a pint for an older woman who was gesturing wildly. He looked relaxed, that smile on his face that made him even better looking. The one that made Robert feel things he’d rather not.

The place wasn’t too busy but it was comfortable, warm. A little shriek showed Arthur in the corner, sitting on some man’s knee and holding a cookie in his hand. When he saw Robert he smacked the table and babbled a baby hello.

Aaron was beside him suddenly, wiping his palms on a towel and offering Robert a shy grin.

“He’s the life of the party around here. They’re fighting over who gets to hold him. They’re regulars, a good lot.” He seemed a little worried about what Robert would think, Arthur sitting there with a group of old men while they drank pints and swapped war stories.

“He seems happy enough, glad it worked out in the end.”

Aaron visibly relaxed and motioned with his head to the back.

“He’s already eaten. Want a burger? Save you from cooking.” Robert smiled and nodded, made his way to the table as Aaron hurried away. 

An hour later he’d finished a pint, a damn good meal and laughed as Arthur pulled at the grey beard of Peter, an ancient looking Irishman enamoured with the little boy. Still, Robert could see Arthur’s eyes starting to droop and knew it was time to head home before a meltdown happened. 

He scooped up the boy and said his goodbyes, promising that he’d have Aaron bring Athur again soon. Aaron was there like a shot, handing over the ever-present “Arthur Luggage” as they affectionately called it. Aaron pressed a kiss to soft baby hair as Arthur curled into Robert’s shoulder. It made something unfurl in Robert’s stomach, a longing that only intensified when Aaron looked at him, a smile on his lips.

“See you at home?” Aaron’s words were a whisper and Robert could only nod, his insides still dancing. Aaron cupped Arthur’s face before letting his hand slide down Robert’s arm as he turned away.

It didn’t mean anything. They were just getting more comfortable. They were friends now, family really. They were getting along for Arthur, for Isaac and Connor, all they had lost. Friends were affectionate, friends cared. Friends spent their time listening to the other one shower and imagining what would happen if they just joined them. Imagined the other one wet and willing, firm muscle and soft lips. Imagined what could have been.

Later that night when Robert heard the shower run he pressed his face into his pillow and smiled.

**********

Aaron has been nervous about putting Arthur into childcare three days a week. More new people, another change to his regular day to day. He needn’t have worried, Arthur took to it like he did all things, wide-eyed and smiling. 

It meant Aaron could work those days, have some more free evenings and not feel so damn drained all the time. It also meant more time in Robert’s company.

It had turned out to be sort of nice. Okay, actually it was really almost perfect.

First of all: Robert could cook, Aaron had experienced cold leftovers but it didn’t compare to it fresh from the kitchen. Aaron would watch the game or some Top Gear after Arthur was in bed. Sometimes Robert would sit with him or give commentary from the dining table where he worked. Aaron would fold Arthur’s laundry and Robert would put it away. If Robert was head down over his work Aaron would make him a cup of tea, milk, no sugar, before he headed to bed himself.

It was nice domesticity. It felt like a family, the kind of thing Aaron never thought he’d get to have. He just tried to enjoy it and not think too much about how Robert’s laugh made his fingers twitch, or the eye full of muscle he’d seen the other evening. Arthur had gotten the blonde soaked at bathtime, Robert’s shirt sticking to him in some very well defined areas, Aaron unable to look away.

They’d tried that once, briefly and it had been a true and utter disaster. 

_Things are good, don’t rock the boat, Dingle._

So on Sunday morning when Robert had walked out of his room in nothing but a pair of boxers and a pained expression Aaron literally swallowed his tongue. He had Arthur in his high chair, letting him push his cut up bananas around on a plate. Normally Robert would have left for his office by now.

God, even his legs were gorgeous. It was fucking annoying.

“You alright?” Aaron was amazed his voice worked at all if he was honest.

“Woke up with a killer headache, gonna have to give work a miss today.” Robert seemed apologetic, which was ridiculous, this was his home too. He didn’t have to leave just because Aaron was on unofficial Arthur duty.

“You’ve been working too hard. Take something and go back to bed, I’ll take Trouble here to the park early to give you some quiet.” Aaron started cleaning up the breakfast mess, wiping Arthur’s juice-stained mouth.

“You sure?” The relief was evident in Robert’s voice as he headed to the cupboard for something to dull his pain.

Aaron turned to watch Robert’s freckled back move, arms he suddenly wanted to sink his teeth into reached above the fridge, where they kept things safe from little hands. Aaron suddenly felt hot all over, quickly bundling up the boy and making fast work of slipping on his jacket. Not that he needed it really.

“Right. We’ll see you later. Get some rest.” Aaron couldn’t look at Robert, especially when he wanted to look down at exactly what those boxers were covering. Aaron had the door open when the sound of his name made him turn back. Robert’s face was still pained but the fondness in his voice was clear.

“Take care of our boy.” 

*********

Robert’s words and perfect ass were all Aaron could think about the rest of the morning. It was all he thought about while Arthur toddled after the ducks, holding firm to Aaron’s hands to stay upright. He thought about it when he pushed Arthur in the swing and listened to him laugh. He thought about it as he maneuvered the pram through the shop to pick up a few odds and ends for home. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about it. It didn’t help when he was in line to check out that a sweet woman had made faces at Arthur and smiled at Aaron wistfully, “Your son is a sweetheart.”

He’d thanked her, unable to feel anything but pride and joy in the little guy. They were doing a good job, sure they were barely two months in but they were doing it.

_Our boy._

He stopped at the cafe as normal, Arthur fast asleep. On a whim, he got a coffee for Robert and some scones to have with lunch. He walked slowly back to the flat, to let both Arthur and the man at home sleep a little longer.

Robert was dressed now, in trackies and a tee shirt, sitting on the couch with a paperback in his hands. He beamed at Aaron when they walked in the door.

Aaron put a finger to his lips, pointed to the pram and the sleeping toddler. Robert got up, lifted Arthur out and headed for his room. Aaron was putting away the groceries, the takeaway cups on the counter when he heard Robert’s voice.

“One of those for me?” He sounded surprised. Aaron wasn’t a total wanker, was he?

“Yeah. Americano, black. You feeling better?” He was studying the contents of the fridge, unable to look at Robert because he kept thinking about freckles dancing on skin.

“Yeah, the extra sleep helped. I can’t believe you remembered how I like my coffee.”

Aaron turned to him then. “How could I forget?”

They smiled at each other, Aaron felt warm all over again. He wanted to say something, ask the question that had been on his mind for years.

“Robert…” The shrill sound of the ringing phone cut him off. Robert dashed for it, raised his eyebrows at him. They had never really used it before but changed it over into Aaron’s name just in case.

“Hello?” Instantly Robert’s face fell. “No, I’m sorry he’s passed away. Right, of course. Thank you, you too.” He placed the phone back in the cradle, looked down at the floor. “A telemarketer looking for Isaac.” 

Robert walked out of the kitchen and Aaron leaned back against the fridge, forgetting everything but the friends he missed so much and the empty space where they were supposed to be.

**********

The next two weeks were harder somehow, like starting back at the beginning. Aaron couldn’t look at Arthur without thinking about Connor. How he was missing his son pulling himself upright, using the coffee table to toddle around. He’d be walking soon, and then they were really in for it.

Robert had texted he’d be late so to have tea without him. It was the fourth night in a row. Aaron couldn’t be upset, not really. It was easier to breathe without him around, easier to remember what this was. Two blokes who only put up with each other because they’d loved the same people, loved the same little boy.

Arthur had been fussy all evening, if Aaron had to guess he was missing Robert. He didn’t want to eat. He didn’t want to snuggle. He refused to play during bath time, something he loved to do with Robert. It wasn’t until Aaron was putting him down for the night that he heard the door open. Arthur did too, excitedly squealing when Robert was suddenly there, holding out his arms to take the boy.

It pissed Aaron off, he’d been home with Arthur all day. He’d put up with the mini tantrums and tears. Then in walks Sugden with his perfect hair and magnificent ass hugging trousers and suddenly he’s the hero. Arthur basically flung himself out of Aaron’s arms and into those tanned ones, shirtsleeves rolled up, making Aaron’s mouth water.

“Looks like someone missed me, aye?” Robert nuzzled his face into Arthur’s, rewarded with the first giggle Aaron had heard all day.

“If you’re gonna get him going you can do bedtime.” Aaron just walked out of the room, confronted instantly with the pile of laundry that still needed folding. Hands on his hips he sighed, hung his head, because it never ended. 

He grabbed his phone and his earbuds, his only method of listening to music at home now that it was quiet time after 7:00pm. He blared his music as loud as he could stand it before he dug into the never-ending chore his life had become.

He was almost finished when he felt a hand on his shoulder, scaring him half to death and making him jump. Robert gave him a sheepish grin and a mouthed a “Sorry” as Aaron stopped the song and glared at him.

“Hey, look I know it’s been crazy. I promise after Friday things will slow down. This case has just been a lot.” Once again Robert seemed sincere and Aaron just wanted to punch him. That or grab his gorgeous face and snog him until the end of bloody time.

“It’s fine.” It was. He could handle things without Robert, even if Aaron clearly wasn’t Arthur’s favourite person out of the two.

“Right, well Vic will be here around 6:00 on Friday so….” Robert started unpacking his briefcase, crowding the space Aaron was trying to use.

“Why?” Aaron grumbled as Robert almost tipped over the towels onto the floor, catching them just in time. 

“To look after Arthur. You have to work and I have dinner plans with…” Aaron didn’t bother to listen to any more of Robert’s drivel.

“What do you mean Vic is babysitting Arthur? Are you seriously skiving on another night with him so you can go on some date?” Hadn’t tonight proved how much the boy missed Robert when he was gone?

“A date? Are you kidding me?! It’s for work. God forbid I have a night off, not like you don’t wander in every Friday night well past 3:00 am.” Robert dumped the towels back on the table but they promptly fell off again, unraveling all of Aaron’s work as well as his temper.

“Because that’s my job, Robert. Staying late to do the books because it’s the only time I have. You know, after I put in a full day looking after Arthur. I don’t get to come home, give him a bath and then tuck him into bed like some sort of super dad.” He crossed his arms over his chest, jutted his chin.

“Right, sure Dingle. Any excuse to sleep until noon on Saturday.” Robert slammed his briefcase shut and Aaron flinched at the sound.

“Fuck you, Robert. If you’re so damn hard done by you know where the door is.” Aaron regretted it as soon as it was out of his mouth. The hurt that flashed in Robert’s eyes sliced him to the quick. “Shit, I shouldn’t have…”

“You’d love that wouldn’t you? Because nothing's ever good enough for you is it, Aaron? Always got to find the next thing. Already got a man you want to move in here and be Arthur’s other daddy? Someone better to take Connor's place?”

The air sucked out of the room and Aaron froze, he felt the tears threatening to spill and the rage bubble in his chest. Robert just stared at him wide-eyed, arms instinctively reaching out to Aaron who instantly stepped back.

“Aaron…”

“Go to hell, Robert.”

He stormed down the hallway, his love for Arthur the only thing that stopped him from slamming his bedroom door.

**********

Robert hadn’t slept a wink. He’d laid eyes open all night replaying the hurt look on Aaron’s face. He never should have used Connor as a weapon like that. He could only imagine someone suggesting anyone could replace who Isaac had been to Robert, who he would always be.

Robert had wanted to walk down the hall and beg forgiveness. Instead, he finished the laundry and put it away. He didn’t bother to even try to work, just poured himself a glass of whiskey and downed it in one go.

He laid awake as he heard Aaron get up with Arthur in the morning. The quiet shushing sounds he made as Arthur giggled his way through his breakfast.

Aaron had been right. He was looking after Arthur, going to work after, taking too much on. Maybe they should look at getting Arthur in care full time, give him a break. Maybe Robert could cut back at the office. It would mean not making partner before 40 but what did that matter if Arthur wasn’t happy? If Aaron wasn’t?

He got ready for the day quickly, wanted to get out there and apologize. He needed to make it right. He found them in the kitchen, Arthur his happy self, Aaron refusing to look at Robert as he did something at the sink.

Robert just stood there, let the boy pull on his suit jacket as he waited, and waited. Aaron had been wiping the counter for a long time, his shoulders slumped.

“Aaron?” He finally stilled at Robert’s words but he didn’t turn around.

“I’m sorry.” What else was there to say? He couldn’t take it back.

He watched Aaron nod his head. Robert wanted to see those eyes, know they were going to be okay. That they hadn’t broken everything they’d built so far, the friendship that had slowly grown from the ashes. He needed to see that face, Robert couldn’t start his day without it.

Aaron finally looked over his shoulder, met Robert’s gaze briefly. “Me, too.” Then he was moving fast, scooping up Arthur and offering him for a kiss goodbye.

“You’re gonna be late and I need to get him to daycare, yeah.” He didn’t sound like Aaron. He didn’t feel like Aaron but it was all Robert was getting for now. So he pressed his lips to the top of Arthur’s head before Aaron whisked him out of the room.

By Friday things weren’t any better. They weren’t fighting, hell they weren’t talking period. Well they were, talking to Arthur anyway, and still doing what they always did. Their lives were in tandem now. Aaron still sent pictures of Arthur, Robert still picked up more bloody nappies on the way home.

Then once their boy was in bed Aaron just slipped away into his room. If Aaron did anything around the house his music was on, lost in his own world that he was refusing to let Robert be a part of. He hadn’t made Robert a cup of tea in days and it hurt, probably more than it should.

By Friday Robert wasn’t sure what to do or how to fix it. Another morning when they didn’t talk, Robert leaving with his garment bag and a long day ahead.

Aaron texted when he left Arthur with Vic, a picture of the toddler on her lap, them leaning into a book, smiles on their faces. Did it warm Aaron like it warmed Robert, seeing the happiness on Arthur’s face? Knowing he was thriving? Regardless of how much they’d screwed up their own relationship, friendship, whatever they were, at least they were doing one thing right.

Now Robert was standing in his tuxedo, a glass of champagne in hand, wishing more than anything he was giving Arthur his bath. He glanced at his watch discreetly as one of the partner’s wives nattered to him about God knows what. He’d have to put in at least another two hours before he could finally slip away without seeming rude.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and used the lull in conversation to take a look. It was a text from Vic that made his heart squeeze.

“Arthur has a fever and I can’t settle him. Where do you keep the medicine?”

“I have to go.” The woman looked at him shocked, he hadn’t really done more than nod at her until now. “I’m sorry that was the sitter, my boy is running a fever and…”

She offered him a sympathetic smile and patted his arm. “By all means young man, don’t you worry, I’ll make sure to explain.” Robert could have kissed her, so he did, pressed his mouth to her upturned cheek before racing out the door and texting Vic to look above the fridge.

It took him way too long to get back, in a near panic the whole time he was stuck in traffic. Vic didn’t know how to soothe Arthur correctly. He’d want his duck and his blue onesie with the fuzzy feet. He liked to be tucked right under your chin, rocked side to side. 

Almost an hour later he finally unlocked the door, worried when he found it dead quiet, all the lights off. He flung his jacket over the sofa, making for the nursery and sighed in thanks when he saw Aaron in the rocking chair, Arthur fast asleep curled up on his chest.

They locked eyes and the relief he saw in those blue depths made Robert’s heart soar. He’d never seen Aaron so happy to see him before. It made him want to wrap them both in his arms and hold on tight. Instead he knelt by the chair, ran a finger over a pink chubby cheek.

“How is he?” Robert kept his voice below a whisper. He put his hand on Aaron’s knee and squeezed.

“Got him to sleep just a bit ago. I sent Vic home. Can you call her? She was a mess, not that any of this is her fault. He just wanted one of us.” Aaron pressed his cheek into the bundle in his arms. Robert wanted to offer to take him but knew Aaron would refuse. It was clear he needed the comfort almost as much as Arthur did.

“Can I get you anything?” Robert stood, wanted to call Vic but needed Aaron to know he was here, that Robert had him. Had both of them. Aaron shook his head and smiled, eyes closed as he held Arthur tight.

He shut the door softly, rang Victoria to assure her that something had been going around at daycare and he knew she’d done the best she could. He tidied up, started the dishwasher and was just finishing making some tea when Aaron padded softly out of Arthur’s room. He took the mug Robert offered him and wrapped his hands around it. He jerked his head for Robert to follow. They settled on the couch, like it was what they did every Friday night. Like it was normal.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner. The stupid banquet was all the way across town and traffic was a nightmare.” He hated that Aaron must have left one of his busiest nights at the pub, especially when he’d had Arthur all day as well.

“It’s okay. I should have texted I was home but Arthur wouldn’t let me put him down. Poor little bloke, I imagine tomorrow’s going to be a trial.” And yet still Aaron was smiling into his tea, almost blissfully, as if there was nowhere else he’d rather be.

“Aaron…”

“Before you say anything I need to apologize. The other day, it had been shit and I was angling for a fight. Can we just forget it, yeah?” Aaron looked eager and Robert was more than happy to oblige.

“It’s forgotten.”’ Robert sipped his tea and thanked heaven for small miracles.

“It’s not like communication was ever our strong suit anyway.” Aaron put his tea down, turned his body towards Robert. The black shirt he was wearing pulled tight against his chest and made Robert want to peel him out of it.

“Hey, you can’t blame that on me, Dingle.” He saw Aaron eyeing Robert’s cup, no doubt memories of that disastrous date running through his mind. He shook his mug gently as a tease before placing it down beside Aaron’s.

“Oh no, couldn’t be your fault could it Rob? Not like I ever got an explanation for a lap full of lukewarm coffee.” Aaron’s voice was light, teasing but they’d never talked about this before, never dared to mention it. They were usually too busy winding the other one up.

“Come on, did you honestly think I didn’t see you give that chap your number?” God, that had stung. Almost two hours huddled together at a small table while they talked about everything under the sun, laughed and gave each other shy looks. Robert had fallen head over feet, wondered if it was too forward to invite Aaron back to his for a nightcap before noon, on a Sunday.

Robert had been smitten from the moment he’d walked into that cafe and seen Aaron with his casual demeanor and scruffy face. Not to mention Aaron kept biting his lip, a nervous habit that made Robert sweat. Charmed and hopeful, he’d gone to the loo, daydreaming of getting his hands all over Aaron. Only to come back to Aaron chatting up another bloke and smashing Robert’s heart to pieces.

“You what?” Aaron was looking at him puzzled, lines on his forehead wrinkled.

“I saw that fit bloke hand you back your phone, it was pretty clear he’d just given you his number. Did you ever call him?” Robert tried to act bemused, as if the memory didn’t crush him as it had on that day, like it did everytime he thought about it.

Aaron just kept staring at him in confusion. Oh shit, he didn’t even remember the best date Robert had ever been on, at least up to that heartbreaking conclusion. He was suddenly embarrassed, wished they’d never brought it up. What good was going over the past anyway?

Until Aaron’s eyes seemed to focus, he leaned forward to put his hand on Robert’s arm. “Wait, are you telling me you dumped the rest of your coffee in my lap and stormed out because that bloke found my phone on the floor and handed it back to me?”

No, surely not. No. What?

“What?” Robert half choked it out as Aaron leaned back and laughed. The wanker actually laughed.

“Oh my God. Robert I was sitting there thinking I’d just won the fucking lottery. I was trying to work up the nerve to ask you to come back to mine. I guess my mobile fell out of my pocket, I was too nervous to notice. Some guy handed it to me. Then you stormed over, poured your drink in my lap, embarrassed the shit out of me and walked.” He was still laughing, wiping at his eyes until he saw the horrified look on Robert’s face. “Robert…”

“I was gone for you. The minute I was through the door I was halfway in love. I thought you felt it too. When I saw...I just felt so stupid, like I’d fallen for some con.” Robert couldn’t look away from Aaron’s face, that stupidly gorgeous face that no man or woman ever measured up to. 

“Robert…”

He leaned into Aaron’s space, had to touch him, needed to know if this moment was real. Jesus, had he really lost out on years because he’d misread a second in time?

“Did you feel it too, Aaron? Tell me you felt it too.” He cupped Aaron’s face, thumbs dragging over the stubble on his cheeks. It felt better than he’d ever imagined, and Robert had, so many times. He looked in Aaron’s eyes, impossibly blue, impossibly soft and open.

Eyes Robert hadn’t seen, not really, not in years.

“Yes, you idiot, of course I did.”

Robert barely let him finish before he dragged Aaron forward and pressed their mouths together.

**********

Aaron missed Robert so much, regardless of whether he was at work or sitting a few feet away across the dinner table. There was this wall there between them. He didn’t know how to get back to where they’d been, when it had been easy and comfortable. Maybe Aaron needed to realized there was probably no point. He’d been making up a fantasy, the three of them, a real future.

When he’d gotten the call from Victoria he’d raced from the pub, thankful that Matty promised to have it in hand. He’d barely opened the door and Arthur was reaching for him, silent hiccups shaking his little frame. The medicine had kicked in by then so Aaron had just held him, wished he could take every ounce of discomfort away.

When Robert had walked in it was like all the bullshit of the last few days magically disappeared. Arthur was asleep but it was Aaron who finally felt settled, the person he needed was there.

That relief, the reminder that he wasn’t alone, maybe that’s why he’d been loose, why he’d let himself say the words he had. Let himself hear the words he’d only ever imagined.

Robert had felt it too, Robert still felt it, that unexplainable connection Aaron thought he must have imagined. The one that tugged at him every time they were in the same space. Why Aaron spent years sparing with Robert, the same words playing over in his head.

_See me, dammit._

He never thought they’d get here, Robert’s hands under his shirt, moans vibrating against Aaron’s tongue. Of course Robert would kiss like he was born to it, perfect firm lips, heat and warmth. He couldn’t get close enough, the angle awkward as he gripped at Robert’s hair, held that mouth where he wanted it. Aaron wanted to crawl into his lap, he wanted to press into him, he wanted the weight of Robert holding him down. Aaron wanted it all.

Robert’s fingers dug into Aaron’s back, pulling them both to their feet, pushing them around the couch. Aaron almost tripped over something on the floor but Robert had him, arms holding him tight, chests locked together. Aaron bit at Robert’s lips in thanks, suddenly shoved against a wall, something sharp digging into his back.

He ignored it, let his head fall when Robert moved his mouth, finding instantly the spot on Aaron’s neck that made his toes curl. He arched his back, hands digging into that perfect ass. God, finally. Robert thrust forward and then suddenly there was a large crash, the clear sound of glass shattering.

They both stilled, waited with open ears to see if whatever they’d broken had roused Arthur. After a few beats they both sighed in relief, Robert lifted his head to press their foreheads together.

“What did we break?” Robert whispered it into Aaron’s smiling mouth, rubbed their noses together.

“I have no idea.” He gave Robert a quick peck on the lips before pulling back and glanced at the floor. It was a photo of Isaac and Connor, Arthur barely six months old between them. The frame was intact but the glass was splintered.

Something inside Aaron shifted, the weight of their responsibilities suddenly heavy on his chest. He removed himself from Robert’s arms and leaned down to pick but what they’d damaged.

Robert’s hand was sudden heat and comfort on his shoulder but Aaron pulled away. This was wrong.

“We can’t do this, Robert.” God, it hurt him to say it, killed a piece of him that he forgot existed.

“What? Why?” The panic in that voice made Aaron feel even worse.

“We can’t let them down. Arthur is what matters here, not how we feel.” He turned to hand Robert the frame, watched those fingers run along the now fragmented glass. When Robert finally lifted his eyes they locked with his own. So much was said without a word.

_I want this._

_So do I._

_I’m sorry, I’m so sorry._

_Me too, you have no idea how much._

Suddenly Robert chuckled, hollow and pained as he shook his head.

“I’ll listen for him tonight, get some rest yeah?” He ran a hand through his messy blond hair. Aaron could still feel the sensation of it against his fingers, soft and silky.

“Thank you.” For understanding. For being there. For giving Aaron that one perfect moment where he had everything he’d ever wanted. He felt the tears sting, grateful for the dark as he moved away. He stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Aaron didn’t dare turn around, he couldn’t.

“I wish…” Robert didn’t finish the sentence, he didn’t have to. Aaron covered Robert’s hand with his own and squeezed.

“Me too.”

Then he walked away, shut himself in his room and felt the weight of everything he’d lost.

**********

The next day Arthur was subdued and a little clingy but otherwise unscathed. They both stayed home with him, acted as if the night before hadn’t happened. A perfect dream that they’d woken up from, their reality now staring them in the face.

They didn’t say much. The occasional smile, a word or two. Aaron made lunch, Robert made their tea. Aaron played on the floor with their boy, Robert snuggled him as they watched some ridiculous kids movie while Aaron folded more laundry.

He kept catching Robert looking at him, his gaze unreadable and haunted. Aaron had to stop himself from just walking over and holding him, shoving his face into that neck and having just one more piece. Just one more to get him through.

Instead Robert gave Arthur his bath and Aaron went to bed early.

The next morning Aaron was faced with the giggly boy he knew so well smiling up from his crib. The worst was over, even if he still had some snot running down his face. Aaron fed him breakfast and then stuck him on the floor with some toys. He stretched out on the couch with his tea and let his mind wander.

He kept thinking about Connor and Isaac, wondered what they would think of how the last three months had gone. Had it barely been three months? Aaron felt like he’d lived a lifetime since that day. Aaron could see Connor in his mind, laughing hysterically if he knew about Robert’s confession, if he’d learned that Aaron had gotten coffee thrown in his lap. 

Connor would have been over the moon for him and Robert, years of teasing that Robert and Aaron hated each other so much that it had to be love. Isaac would just nod in agreement, slide his hand into his husband’s, the two of them a unit from the second they met.

He remembered getting ready for Connor and Isaac’s wedding, his best friend vibrating with happiness. “I don’t know what the future holds Aaron, I just know I want Isaac in it.” Then they’d downed a shot and headed to get Connor wed.

Aaron remembered watching them dance, so happy for the pair, until he noticed Robert standing with some woman draped over his arm. Aaron could feel his condescending gaze from across the room. It made Aaron drink too much, ending the night by having words with Robert in the parking lot. Nasty comments Aaron couldn’t remember, just how much he wanted Robert to hurt as badly as he did.

Every birthday party and get together, Robert and him, throwing sarcastic words and smug smiles. Each trying to goad the other one, looking to hit the mark and score a point. Aaron realized now Robert’s disdain had felt better than his indifference. He’d welcomed it every time, no matter how much he’d tried to deny it.

He just loved Robert and never knew where to put it, what to do with it, how to make it go away.

Aaron froze for a second, mug halfway to his mouth. He put it on the floor so he didn’t drop it, his hand suddenly shaking.

_I love Robert._

_I’m in love with Robert._

He saw Connor’s small smile and Isaac’s wink, the words said the last time they’d all been together. They’d known. God of course they had. Was Aaron the only one who hadn’t? Him and Robert? The only ones who didn’t see what was going on the whole damn time?

Aaron heard Robert’s bedroom door open and he looked over at Arthur. Arthur who was standing, holding onto the coffee table, with one hand. Arthur who looked like he was about to let go and make a move.

“Robert! I think he’s about to walk! Robert!” Arthur looked at Aaron with his huge brown eyes, his hand letting go of the table, wobbling slightly as he stood on his own two little legs unaided.

“You got this little man, can you walk to Aaron? Can you do that for us?” Robert’s voice came from behind him but Aaron didn’t dare look away from Arthur. He leaned off the couch, held his hands out, wiggled his fingers.

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, Robert with his cell phone in hand, hopefully recording it. He better be recording it.

“Come on, Trouble.” Aaron smiled, his insides squeezed as Arthur toddled forward, one step, two steps, he started to fall on the third but Aaron scooped him up in his arms before his butt hit the ground. He stood with Arthur on his hip, he’d never felt so proud in his whole life.

“Brilliant, mate, bloody brilliant.” Robert was still recording, smiling over the phone at Aaron. His hair was a mess, he looked like he hadn’t slept a wink. And Aaron loved him.

Arthur smacked Aaron’s face and it was the only nudge he needed.

“I’m in love with you.” 

Robert’s eyes flared, his mouth dropped into a small O. Arthur smacked Aaron’s face again and giggled, another nudge, so he kept going.

“I don’t want anyone else or anything else. Just you. You and Arthur, that’s all I need, forever. I can’t promise it’ll be easy or that we won’t drive each other insane but if we want it we can make it work. We can do it, together.”

He was rambling, he knew he was. Robert was still just standing there, eyes tracking over Aaron’s face. Aaron held Arthur tighter, worried he’d gotten it all wrong, again.

Until suddenly Robert was in his space, hand on his cheek, the other on Arthur’s back. He pressed his forehead to Aaron’s, smile plastered on his face.

“I’m in love with you too, you absolute wanker.” Aaron didn’t just hear the words, he felt them, everywhere, wanted to spend the rest of his life drowning in them. 

Aaron couldn’t help it, he laughed, Arthur smacked them both, Robert finally kissed him and somehow, somewhere Connor and Isaac were rolling their eyes and saying, “I told you so.”

**********

Robert stepped out of the office, once the spare room, to find Aaron frowning at the pile of decorations on their dining table. He was spinning his wedding ring around his finger. Aaron did that now, whenever he was bored or nervous, played with the piece of platinum that had only been in place for eight weeks. Was going to be there forever as long as Robert had a say in the matter.

Aaron had insisted he’d get everything together after they’d put Arthur down for the night. Robert had left him in almost the same spot an hour ago, had his husband not moved at all?

Robert knew that face, Aaron was worried everything wouldn’t be perfect. It was the same face he made the first time Arthur called one of them Dada, Robert actually, he was pretty chuffed about that. Sure he said the same thing to Aaron just a few minutes later but still. 

After the initial excitement and euphoria, Aaron got concerned. Was it okay? Were they disrespecting their friends if Arthur grew up calling them Dad? It took some soul searching until they realized that they were all Arthur’s Dads. All four of them. Always.

They were also going to change his name, they knew their friends would approve. The Sugden-Dingle family, officially and legally.

“Stop, it’s gonna be great.” He slid his arms around Aaron from behind, tucked his chin on a shoulder and squeezed. Aaron twined their fingers together and leaned back into him.

“It’s not that.”

Tomorrow was Arthur’s second birthday, they were throwing a party at the Woolie. They’d never hear the end of it from the regulars if they missed out on spoiling the toddler. They both got enough grief as it was if Aaron didn’t bring Arthur in at least once a week. Not to mention they were still making up to everyone for eloping a few days after Robert proposed. He’d asked in the same cafe where they had their first date, even offered to let Aaron dump coffee on Robert’s lap this time, as long as he said yes.

They promised forever on a beach with Arthur on Robert’s hip and tears in both their eyes. Just the three of them and the ocean lapping at the shore. It had been more than Robert could have hoped for, it was quite simply the best day of his life. Afterward they sat in the sand and built castles that Arthur destroyed, played in the ocean. First night as husbands they watched the sunset under an umbrella, cuddled together, their son fast asleep on Aaron’s chest.

“Then what is it?” They talked about things now, it was their first priority. When they’d started this they vowed to always be honest, family over everything else. Aaron couldn’t be this concerned about a birthday party. “Seriously, Aaron.”

“I’m ready for us to have another child,” Aaron said it so fast it took Robert a second to realize what he’d just heard. Aaron just kept going, rambling away as Robert smiled.

“I know we said one day but Arthur’s basically two and by the time we figure out surrogacy or adoption it would be at least another year and…”

Robert let go of Aaron’s hands, turning him around and pressing a kiss to those lips to shut him up. It was sometimes the only thing that worked when Aaron was on a roll. He cupped Aaron’s face as he pulled away back, waited for Aaron to open his eyes and look at him.

“Okay.” 

Aaron eyes searched his and then he smiled so wide it gave Robert butterflies. That smile of Aaron’s always did.

“Okay?”

“Let’s do it. I love you. I love our family. Okay.” He rubbed his nose against Aaron’s to punctuate the point, kissed him deeply. The moment didn’t last long, a soft shout of “Dadas” echoed through the monitor. Robert rolled his eyes. “I’ll handle him, make me a brew?”

Aaron gave him a soft quick kiss before he squeezed Robert’s butt and shoved him away. “Don’t I always?”


End file.
